Call Me

I win. 48 hours without using my phone, plus 9 hours extra credit. Go me. So what did I achieve or take away from this self assigned test of will power? Two things really.
It made me realize that my phone dependency truly does have an effect on my kid. Quality time does not consist of whipping out the phone every 3 minutes to send a text. She even noticed its absence; her little hand made regular fishing trips into my bra in search of the "pone." Yeah, sometimes I put it there. Not to mention, the fact that she seems to think every remote, calculator, and occasional cheese slice is a mode of communication, is disturbing.
The no phone challenge was isolating. I know, that was kind of the point. However, in making myself "available to my family" I felt like I pushed away some of my biggest supports. My living situation is far from ideal - we currently live with my parents. Mad appreciation for that, but at the same time it is a soul crushing existence. It can feel physically and emotionally claustrophobic. My phone provides an escape from reality, social connections, and comic relief.
I guess it boils down to the whole "everything in moderation" theory. I saw the advantages of leaving the phone behind, yet I don't think I want to abandon my texting ways.
Oh good God, the mother-in-law lands tomorrow, if I offended anyone in any way, I'm sorry...I may need you.

Radio Silence

I came to the realization today that I need to abandon my cell phone for a short period of time. I've become attached and dependant on it for social interaction and in doing so I feel, for lack of a better term, used. I truly don't know how else the phrase that. The feeling isn't translating into words.
Funny thing is, this realization came on a day when there was minimal contact. My usual routine is to wake, shower, Wii and turn on the phone. From that point on, it's with me till I crawl back into bed at night. I'm always available, always willing to chat. Oh woe is me, I was not needed today.
I once suggested that I might try going without for a period of time only to be met with doubt. I can do this and I will. It's not that I want to avoid everyone, it's not a slight against them; it's more like a reconnect for me. There's at least 6 inches of snow outside and it's steadily building. In the morning I'm going to wake, shower, Wii and take my kid outside. I'm going to play in the snow and be available to my family.
The time officially starts now. I'm removing myself for the next 48 hours.

"Signal fading, listen to what I'm saying
Testing, testing
This better be worth all the breath I'm wasting
Maintaining radio silence from now on."
Elvis Costello